The work I have done with Quality of Life Care has been a very rewarding experience and has given me so many opportunities to help people and be blessed as well. I have missed writing articles for this site as well as other projects with which I was involved with QLC and will miss this whole venture greatly. I will pass this on to the right person or agency that will take excellent care to continue on with Quality of Life Care’s mission.

My focus has been evolving to my main passion in my life’s work, and that is guiding families through those last days with a loved one. I am working very hard right now getting my practice off the ground in this field I call death midwifery. I have another site: http://aGentleGuide.com where I educate about this. You can find me there for now. I am still available for palliative care consults. Pls email me at deanna(at)aGentleGuide(dot)com anytime as usual,  if you have any questions or need direction of some kind. If I can help you, I will.

Many blessings and peace to you all,

Deanna

Well, he brought up the issue of creating a peaceful environment, which can be especially challenging in a nursing home. To all the nursing homes out there, most of you do a great job … but, there are some situations that nobody should have to endure, especially when he is dying.

‘Keeping the peace’ in the room of a dying person is paramount. I have found that there is a certain level of noise that is acceptable in any public place and nursing homes have theirs as well. It is far different then what should be happening at a death bed vigil. I have had a lot of luck asking for the roommate of the dying to be moved if they are loud, need loud TV, or in anyway disturbing to the dying and their family. If the roommate is not willing to change their behavior or go to another room for the interim, the nursing homes I have dealt with have been willing to move the dying and their family to a private room.

After physical comfort, environment is so much a part of a peaceful passing. That is why we are there–our presence blending with theirs. In a perfect world we would all get to have loving, peaceful surroundings. What brings me joy in this work is that I am part of creating that. It may not be what I wish it was, but I know that I’m part of the solution in bringing as much calm as can be.

Sometimes a nursing home may need a little nudge in peacefulness. I have had luck putting up a sign on the door to knock softly and keep the lights off. It is amazing how much a little sign will do. Also the family can inform the charge nurse that they want nobody coming in the room unless to provide peri care or room cleaning. If that is not enough, ask for a doctor’s order for this. Ask the staff to help you. Ask each person you see to be proactive in helping you give your loved one a peaceful death. Look them in the eye and ask. Most of them will love to be part of caring in this way.

So now the roommate is quiet or you are in a room by yourself, but the lights flashing from the TV may be disturbing depending on the person. Would you want the news on if you were laying there dying? or The Price is Right? or The Jerry Springer Show? I am serious. Remember that hearing is the last sense to go and your loved one is being affected by all the energy in the room, whether it be flashing lights, hearing, smells or emotion.

Some other things: make sure soiled bed pads and briefs are out of the room immediately; apply your loved one’s favorite scent on them or in the room somewhere; play favorite music; play books on tape. My suggestion is to have some type of soft sounds–the ocean, forest or river noise–something to drown out the noise of the facility. It will not do it entirely of course, but it may help.

Please remember that the nursing home is it’s own little world and anything that you want to be different, you are going to have to be very proactive about getting. Most people who work in the nursing home want to please you and care for your loved one too. Very caring people are drawn into this line of work and are very deeply affected when someone they have cared for is dying.

If you have experiences in how your loved one was able to have a peaceful death in the nursing home, please let me know. What did they do or you do to make it so?

Death rattle happens when secretions gather (more…)

As a person nears the end of life, there are some very basic similarities that may be seen which crosses the type of illness or ‘reason’ for dying. Below is a list of some of these behaviors. Usually, the closer to death the more pronounced the symptom. Simple to complicated, easy to difficult, know there is always something that can be done (more…)

Agitation can be one of the worst symptoms to encounter at the end of life. Most in the field refer to this kind of restlessness as terminal agitation or terminal restlessness. It can be extremely difficult to treat. Not only can this be very distressing for the person ill, it is very difficult for the family.

When someone has this condition, some of the following is seen: picking in the air, at clothes or at *his skin, trying to get out of bed and then wanting

(more…)

My focus is shifting to my midwifery practice–end-of-life midwife, that is. I have a website for that, End-of-Life Midwife, www.aGentleGuide.com. It is a very simple site giving information on the concept and practice of death midwifery.  I’ll begin posting again here on this site now and then as well. As always, let me know if you have something specific about which you’d like to know.

Hope your holiday season is beautiful. Many blessings to you all.

Please visit their website. You may need help from them or want to give a special gift to keep their doors open. This place is priceless.

” … The CAPC provides health care professionals with the tools, training and technical assistance necessary to start and sustain successful palliative care programs in hospitals and other health care settings. CAPC is a national organization dedicated to increasing the availability of quality palliative care services for people facing serious illness …”

Basically, the 5 barriers to palliative care for them are:

• the perception that palliative care is only terminal care.
• palliative care is defined as mutually exclusive of cure directed treatment.
• the decision if palliative care should be the sole form of care is not ” … negotiated among patients, family members, and providers … “
• making treatment choices is given more importance than discussing the reality of life with a chronic debilitating illness
• palliative care is treated as an either/or decision instead of an integrated part of the treatment plan.

In a nutshell, palliative care is appropriate and possible regardless of which disease process a person has, what the prognosis is or what cure directed treatment choices a person makes. Palliative care should be interwoven concurrently with cure directed treatment. It can either be used with treatment intended to cure or as the sole form of treatment.

Palliative care (regardless of other treatment plans being used) optimizes quality of life and when your energies are not spent coping with pain, nausea, breathlessness, fatigue and the immobility (among other things) resulting from this, there is more energy to cope with the manifestations of the disease. When a person is comfortable, they eat more, sleep better, not as fatigued, not as depressed and at least have the possibility of enjoying their day.