In the Morning

I often think about the walk I’d take in the morning before my mom woke up each day.

My mother lived in Tampa, FL. In 2005, she was taken to the hospital on Mother’s Day and was dead the Wednesday before Father’s Day of cholangiocarinoma. We found out Mother’s Day week that she had this cancer. I went to stay with her 2 weeks later. Read more

Dying to Breathe

Regarding medical care, we are in technological wonderland in some areas and in others we are still behind. Regarding the management of dyspnea, (dyspnea is shortness of breath), we haven’t done so well Read more

Entering the Sacred

Several years ago I went to a sweat lodge. Due to a fluke in circumstances I got to drive out to the land with the ceremonial leader (called the water pourer) of the sacred American Indian ritual.

There are many things I’ll remember about the drive but the most notable was a phenomenon Read more

Insurance Mafia

Dr. Kellerman, clinical professor of pediatrics and psychology at USC’s Keck School of Medicine, wrote his opinion about the people organizing and growing the giant industry of health insurance being like the mafia.

I loved reading the article which was in the Wall Street Journal

Read more

Nancy Manahan

Nancy Manahan, Ph.D., is a community college English, women’s studies, and film studies teacher, now retired. She co-authored (with life partner, Becky Bohan) the award-winning book Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully: A Journey with Cancer and Beyond (Beaver’s Pond Press, 2007). The book covers the last five years of her sister-in-law’s life, sharing the inspirational journey of a nursing professor facing her illness and approaching death with attention and intention.

Nancy’s experience with Diane, including being with her as she died, washing her body, and accompanying her to the crematorium, was sacred and profound. “The most important lesson I learned from Diane is that dying doesn’t have to be dreadful or scary . . . her death was so effortless, graceful, and beautiful that whatever fears I had about my own dying just disappeared.”

For the past year Nancy and Becky have been speaking and leading workshops that deal with end-of-life transitions. In sharing Diane’s story and her own, Nancy has discovered a yearning for a different way to handle death—not only as a natural, normal family event rather than a medical emergency, but also with more consciousness of the environmental impact of our burial practices.

Nancy is part of growing local and worldwide communities supporting those who wish to die at home with a minimum of medical intervention. She is involved in Threshold Choirs that provide bedside singing for those close to death. Nancy also supports green funerals or, as she calls them, “biodynamic burials” — non-toxic, environmentally sustainable funeral practices.

Nancy has published two previous books, including the internationally successful anthology Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence. Her writing has appeared in numerous mainstream and academic publications, from Mother Jones magazine to the Journal of Women’s Studies.

article for Quality of Life Care

Welcomed to Her Dying

by Nancy Manahan

“Nancy, I love the Mary Oliver poem that you sent me last week. ‘In Blackwater Woods’ is so beautiful, and so true. Would you read it at my Life Celebration?”

We were sitting on the sofa in my brother and his wife’s living room in mid-June. Diane Manahan, my beloved sister-in-law had her legs stretched Read more

A Breath In, A Breath Out

Have you ever seen someone struggling to breathe as part of their illness? I’m referring to people living with ‘end stage’ lung or heart disease or advanced cancer with breathing difficulties.

Living with end stage illness or late stage cancer does not necessarily mean you are terminal. Often, a person is not. Read more

A Doctor on Birth & Death

Article: Pregnancy Care: An Apprenticeship for Palliative Care?

” … The family physician that has provided maternity care can apply his or her experiences to their care of the dying. The reader is invited to consider this possibility as part of an intentional transition to palliative medicine… “ ( J Am Board Fam Med 2008;21:63– 65.)

This article, written by W. David Clark, MD, shows the sensitivity and compassion of doctors who take care of Read more

Kristi Curry

Kristi is a professional consultant implementing business solutions. 

She has over 18 years experience developing and implementing business solutions for individuals, small businesses and large corporations.

While working in the financial advising industry with two major firms, she discovered that many clients, friends and family members “did not have their affairs in order” or if they did, it was not communicated to their loved ones or executors. With her propensity and zest for planning, Kristi began working with family and friends to create the survivorship planning concept. She created her first survivorship plan in 2001 and has continued to refine her process, knowledge and resources to better serve her clients. She leverages her business background to help her clients identify critical components and work through creating a clear picture of the transition.

This past year, she has expanded her services to include working with groups and businesses with the Dot Planning Workshops. She speaks to groups about the importance of planning and now offers post death executor assistance to assist executors work through the details of administering an estate.

People are very curious about why she is so passionate about such a “depressing” business. Death is a hard topic for most people to discuss and yet, it will touch everyone at one point in their life. After 10 plus years in the tech industry, she wanted to make a difference. Kristi loves to take people from an anxious state of mind to a place of relief. Her clients say that the more they work through a plan the more they come to terms with the inevitable.

With an M.B.A. in Business Management (New Mexico State University, 1990) and a broad spectrum of experience in the business world, Kristi has created the business of helping people create detailed plans for communication to executors and families in the case of death or disability.

article for Quality of Life Care

Creating a Roadmap

by Kristi Curry

If someone asked you if you have your affairs in order, what would you say? Do you sit back and relax in your favorite chair knowing that you have met with your attorney and your instructions are clearly mapped out, signed and notarized. Take notice, you may not be as prepared as you think.

Many people think that they have done all they can with their legal documents in place. What they don’t realize is that the administration of an estate can be extremely taxing on their executor and/or families if details have not been documented or communicated. Lives today are complex and working through the details of settling an estate can be taxing on your family and/or executor. Essentially, your executor has to understand and deal with almost every aspect of your life, from your valuables, to your finances all the way down to your pets.

Stop and think about it for a minute. Take a look around your home. Someone is going to have to manage the disposition of all of your belongings. That classic car rusting away in storage waiting to be restored as a project in your retirement years can be left to a relative; however, you have just handed off your prolonged project to someone else who may or may not have the resources to work on it. Your heirs will have to store it, sell it or start a project not on their schedule. Your hobby project just became someone else’s obligation.

What about your pets? People often forget that they have pets that will need a home if they pass away. I know a woman who is currently the owner of her deceased mother’s poodle, Peeper. (they call her Peeper for good reason) The dog gets excited and wets her wooden floors frequently. Peeper also escapes her home frequently and plays “catch me if you can” with all concerned. For someone who is not keen on pets, this is not an ideal arrangement. I always advise my clients to make sure you plan ahead for your pets and communicate that plan with a potential owner so you don’t hand someone an unappreciated, sentimental obligation.

As you ponder the idea of what your family might have to do if you should unexpectedly pass away, consider a documenting a few very important items that are commonly overlooked-

• Online Accounts don’t always have a paper trail. These accounts such as online banks, investment accounts and even gambling accounts with current balances can easily be overlooked. Online banks such as ING and Emigrant Direct do not have physical branches and are becoming more popular due to their competitive interests rates on checking and savings accounts. Start by thinking about how many accounts, usernames and passwords you use everyday. Do you have a list of usernames and passwords somewhere that can be readily located? It’s a touchy subject to keep them private, but let someone know where they are.

• Valuable items without proper documentation can easily be mistaken for garage sale wares, thrown out as trash, or donated. People can get pretty creative when hiding their valuables. I have seen stock certificates and bonds that have been tucked away in books, jewelry hidden in a mixer, buried safes with questionable locations, and even money wrapped in food containers. Almost everyone has a hidden stash of mad money or valuables that can easily be overlooked if they have not been documented. Let your trusted secret out to a close friend or your family or better yet, make a note of it and place it with your estate documents.

• Specific instructions on the disposition of personal items to specific individuals are often subject to individual interpretation. There are more and more disagreements between family members when things have not been spelled out clearly. For example, jewelry descriptions can be confusing. “The diamond ring Aunt Perla left to me should be left to my daughter, Janie and my mother’s engagement ring should be left to my other daughter, Julie.” Suppose there are 4 diamond rings in the jewelry box. Over time, the memories fade as to which is which and when it comes time to pass them along, there is conflict as to who gets what.

Passing conversations with heirs also create many gray areas. Time, circumstances and emotions change so previous conversations along with their intent can and probably will change over time. Provide as much detail in writing as possible on your personal items to alleviate any conflicts later on.

• Safe deposit boxes in banks are often forgotten along with the location of the keys. This is more common than you think. People should be applauded for thinking ahead to safe keeping of valuables and estate documents, but they neglect to think through the next step. Laws regarding access to bank boxes when a person passes away differ state by state and they are getting more and more stringent with the involvement of Homeland Security. Check with your bank manager to ensure that your executor and the people that will need access are able to get into your box quickly.

• Automatic bank authorizations for various memberships, churches, on-going services and even investments, are making our lives easier. They automatically deduct a monthly amount and put it towards an intended cause. Ask yourself, “if I pass away, do I want to keep $250 going to my nephew’s college fund or will my family need it?” There are numerous financial situations put in place while we are alive that need to be “adjusted” for the survivors. Spell out your current automated financial arrangements and the plan for them after you are gone.

Remember, the more detailed the roadmap you leave behind can make your passing what it should be, a day of remembrance for family and friends, not a time of organizational and financial panic.

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Kristi Curry is the owner of Survivorship Now.She works with clients to create comprehensive plans for death and disability. She offers planning services to individuals, small groups and companies with a focus on individual needs and circumstances. Her goal is to help her clients prepare for the inevitable by focusing on the family and executor needs when the time comes. Survivorship Now is a planning resource and does not provide clients with legal or financial advice. However, she emphasizes that the financial, legal and logistical aspects are key ingredients to a successful plan. You can find out more about survivorship planning at www.survivorshipnow.com.

Copyright © 2008 Survivorship Now. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. If you would like to know more information about survivorship planning, visit www.survivorshipnow.com or contact Kristi Curry of Survivorship Now, 1613 W. 6th Street, Suite D, Austin, TX 78703, (512)771-8530.