I appreciate what this particular death midwife is saying: "It is not mysterious or grandiose - bottom line, you're just visiting someone...at a very scary time in life."
We just do it. We visit. We attend to needs. We show up. That is basically it. We show up with our particular gifts and are ready to share and give to the family according to their needs. We are present for what unfolds.
If you feel called to attend families through the dying of their loved one, I hope you will explore it. We all start at the beginning and may we all stay with the humility of that first step. We are there to provide presence first and foremost, everything else is gravy.
I want to encourage those of you who know you are death doulas, but have not claimed it yet, to step in the shoes and begin walking in them. The mystery of it all lies all around us; but as the midwife above states, it is not in the showing up.